"Stop. Stop now." I heard a familiar voice behind me say. "Enough. Stop drinking." he whispered in my ear and I froze.
How dare you! I thought to myself as he held on to my shoulders, whispering words that I barely understood because of anger.
He ignored me all day and when I'm finally blissfully buzzed enough to forget him, he tries to stop me from drinking. Well, fuck him!
"Go away!" I shouted, very much aware of everyone's stares. "I can't breathe when you're here. Go away! Fuck you!" I kept saying just loud enough for him to hear me. I heard people chuckle and I knew I said it too loudly.
"We're okay." he whispered again. I could feel his lips against my ear telling me the same words over and over. Stop now. We're okay. Everything will be okay.
"I need another drink!" I said outloud and someone handed me a shot. I was about to drink it when it was rudely ripped from my hand.
"No! No one will give you another drink!" I heard his voice, threatening anyone who came near me. He placed a warm towel over my eyes, an attempt to sober me up.
I heard arguments around me and I kept pouting. I couldn't see anything anymore but his voice was distinct and pleading. He wants someone to help get me to my room. He continued to whisper words in my ear, another attempt to keep me calm.
I was close to tears. It hurt. He's so confusing. But I can't let him see me cry, not again. I kept pushing him away, saying hurtful things that I was sure I won't remember in the morning, but I do. I remember everything. But I just wanted him feel what it's like to be hurt for once!
"You okay?" I heard a new voice beside me. I nod as I moved the towel from my eyes. I catch my last glimpse of him walking away from me before I lost it.
I threw up. Embarrassing, I know.
I felt small hands behind me and I was led up to the shared bedroom to sleep off the alcohol.
"Are you okay?" a girl's voice asked me.
"No." I said, finally succumbing to tears. "I love him. And it hurts so much." I whispered, as I crawled under the blanket. I cried. I cried because he broke my heart. I cried because I love him still. I closed my eyes and decided, I need to talk to him. I need to stop the pain.
I woke up with a hangover and took a cold shower to help ease it. I saw a swing set in the garden and walked there. Everyone else was asleep. I sat there, thinking about what to say.
An apology first. I say to myself. I sat there and later moved to wake everyone up for breakfast.
I saw him enter the dining area and tried to catch his eye. He never looked my way. The organizers announced that we'll leave shortly and that every one should start getting ready.
I watched him stand and make his was to the water gallons for a drink, I followed. I stood behind him trying to find the courage to say hi. But just as I opened my mouth, he walked away.
Things were never the same after that.